It has long been known that Will’s and Kate’s baby will grow up to lead humanity on a last ditch mission to fight a super-computer, hell-bent on the extermination of the human race.
Despite numerous attempts at sending cold-blooded cyborg assassins back through time to despatch the child’s royal parents, the super-computer has only managed to successfully remove the – as yet unborn – child’s grandmother. Apparently, its dastardly plans first ran into bother when it assumed the human resistance in its time would only send back a long warrior to act as a protector to the foetus. It had not bargained on the royal embryo being guarded by the entire Metropliton police department, both MI5 and MI6, plus a seemingly never ending ring of expendable paparazzi photographers who were ready to lay down their lives to act as human shields at the first sign of a time portal opening up around St Mary’s Hospital in London.
Speaking to its metal army from the year 2029, the self-aware super computer was quoted as saying, “You lot are useless. If I’d known you weren’t up to the relatively simple job of doing away with an innocent woman, I’d have hired Oscar Pistorius.”
Not a monarchist
