Food stamps now offered as ‘prize’ on BGT

Having upped the prize money from £100,000 to £500,000 on Britain’s Got Talent, Simon Cowell has decided to drop it back down to a more affordable level and one that will actually benefit the winner this time.

Receiving £500,000 for winning a ‘talent’ contest may sound appealing. However, after the media mogul has taken his cut and Vince Cable has suitably put them down, the ‘winner’ is actually only left with the clothes on his/her back and a vague sense that something is as missing in their life today as it was before they entered the show.

Food stamps have become a popular choice to replace cash as it is a commodity that is not (yet) being taxed heavily by the government and because Proles actually need to eat to live.

Alternatively, if the ‘winning’ act is not human, for example, if last year’s ‘winner’ Pudsey the dog’s cousin decides that she wants a piece of the action, then the food stamps will also be able to be exchanged for dog biscuits.

When asked whether the ‘winning’ contestant would approve of the changes in the prize system, Simon Cowell was quoted as saying, “Who? Sorry, I know they haven’t even won yet, but I’ve forgotten them already.”


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