Blame it on the boogie (or Morrissey)

London’s burning, London’s burning – fetch the engines, fetch the engines!

And so on. Basically, as I type, London’s going up in flames, courteously of some right arseholes. The arseholes blame it on the cops, or one cop to be precise – apparently he shot an ‘innocent’ man. And, by ‘innocent,’ I mean he was carrying a gun and therefore the police shot him. Hmm. Funny that.

Now the police are blaming the rioters. The rioters have switched the blame to the police in general for their over-zealous stop-and-search policy and, anyone who doesn’t blame the police or the rioters, is blaming the politicians – who are all on holiday as its summer and left a bald man in charge.

Personally, I blame The Smiths (and/or Morrissey). Every time I see a news report, or read a newspaper, all I see is puns based on The Smiths’ song ‘Panic.’

Think about it: who has most to gain from the riots? Not Londoners – they’re houses are going up in flames. Not the police – they’re looking about as effective at preventing crime as Stephen Hawkins at bath time. The rioters, maybe. They’re getting the odd free widescreen TV. No, it’s The Smiths who are making the real money.

Every time Panic is played they’ll be getting royalties. And even if Batman was to turn up and quash the riot tonight, think of all the clip shows Panic is going to be used for come the end of the year.

Mr Morrissey, you are officially an evil genius, but, what difference does it maaaaake?