Should Tony Blair go to Hollywood?

And, if so, what starring role should he take?

It’s just a thought, but, seeing as they’re rebooting the Friday 13th franchise, what about Tony as Jason Voorhees? Let’s face it, they tried bludgeoning Jason to death, hanging him, drowning him, electrocuting him and psychically blasting him then sending him to hell. Yet here he is, back again and hot on the trail of a load of pointless, annoying American teens.

I reckon Tony could play that part. No matter what gets thrown at him he just keeps on going. Currently we have one of his ex ministers, Claire Short, happily stabbing him in the front on national TV over his handling of the invasion of Iraq. Will it do any good? Did firing paintballs have any effect on Jason? Luckily for Tony, as Claire desperately hacks away at his front, he came to work today wearing his Marks & Spencers stabproof vest (which is also very cosy in winter).

I’m guessing Hollywood will have a crack at remaking the original Terminator films while they’re at it. Perhaps Tony could re-enact that scene from T2 where the T-1000 gets blown up in an explosion in a truck, then happily walks out unscathed and reforms.

At least I’m kind of learning why Hollywood casts so many Brits at villains. Tony set the template for them. Where’s Bruce Willis to punch him off the top of a skyscraper just before the credits role?