Is This Racist?

Or rather, is ‘Muslim Driving School’ (currently showing at 10pm Tuesdays on BBC2). Okay, so I haven’t watched it yet, which puts me firmly into the ‘I know very little about this, but I’m going to act like I’m an expert bracket’ (kind of like what much of the media did about a certain Brass Eye episode). For me it just brings up some questions, or rather one question to be precise, namely:

Do Muslims drive differently to other groups in society?

I learned to drive sixteen years ago. Since that time I’m pretty certain I’ve shared the road with Muslims from time to time. Yet, never have I thought to myself, ‘Ah-ha – just by looking at that car, I can instantly tell it’s being driven by a Muslim!’ To me the whole premise merely goes to propagate the myth that minority groups should be treated differently.

And why a driving school? What were the producers doing to come up with this idea? Were they sitting around a bar in Soho drinking overprice cocktails with two hats on the table. One containing pieces of paper with, ‘Jews, Homosexuals, Mormons, Catholics’ and so on. In the other hat a bit of paper with, ‘bricklayer, soldiers, traffic warden,’ etc. Then they just picked two out and, hey presto, they had a brand new programme!

Maybe after Muslim Driving School has finished they can do a sequel, ‘Pagan Driving School,’ then the year after, ‘Hindu Driving School,’ followed by, ‘Buddhist Driving School,’ until every single minority group has been covered. That way we could see just how every different section of society drives in minute detail. Then the world will be a better and more enlightened place.

I guess it's not racist, just stupid. If you want to see real racism, just goto the IMDB's message board for Disney's The Princess and the Frog

Should Tony Blair go to Hollywood?

And, if so, what starring role should he take?

It’s just a thought, but, seeing as they’re rebooting the Friday 13th franchise, what about Tony as Jason Voorhees? Let’s face it, they tried bludgeoning Jason to death, hanging him, drowning him, electrocuting him and psychically blasting him then sending him to hell. Yet here he is, back again and hot on the trail of a load of pointless, annoying American teens.

I reckon Tony could play that part. No matter what gets thrown at him he just keeps on going. Currently we have one of his ex ministers, Claire Short, happily stabbing him in the front on national TV over his handling of the invasion of Iraq. Will it do any good? Did firing paintballs have any effect on Jason? Luckily for Tony, as Claire desperately hacks away at his front, he came to work today wearing his Marks & Spencers stabproof vest (which is also very cosy in winter).

I’m guessing Hollywood will have a crack at remaking the original Terminator films while they’re at it. Perhaps Tony could re-enact that scene from T2 where the T-1000 gets blown up in an explosion in a truck, then happily walks out unscathed and reforms.

At least I’m kind of learning why Hollywood casts so many Brits at villains. Tony set the template for them. Where’s Bruce Willis to punch him off the top of a skyscraper just before the credits role?